Well. It's been almost 3 months since the worst month of my life, and all I can say about it is I am still alive.
I ended up moving back home to Nevada. My mom accepted me back with open arms, of course only if I agreed to pay rent. :)
My first month back was unbearable. I hated work. I hated people. I hated everyone and everything.
In Mid March, I drove an almost unbearable journey to see my long lost duderler for her birthday. I was still feeling "wobbley" walking around Portland, the town I lived in for only 3 weeks, but it was a nice trip. It reminded me of what I left behind... and what I can come back to someday if I choose to do so.
As several psychics predicted the man who broke my heart aka love of my life, ending up calling me in April several (25) times. I never once answered the phone. What is the point of answering? What's done is done. I moved, and I moved back. I begged for 2nd chances, and he said no and laughed at me, so why should I give him the time of day now? It's a closed book, I quit reading it, and I threw it back on the shelf, no more skimming old chapters for me.
So that's where I am. Things are just ok. Not good. Not horrible. Just, *meh* fine. Once a week, I freak out over everything, and then, I'm good again. I haven't made any progress- weight wise, career wise, money wise... nothing, but again, I think that is OK. I'm lucky to still be alive after my 4th car accident. I'm lucky I was able to get another car and my old job back so quickly. I'm lucky for lots of things.
And in 3 1/2 weeks, I will be 26. It's not a hallmark year by any means, but I will still have a good time.
That is my update.
Monday, May 07, 2007
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